Amidst the roses I lay dreaming,
When the ground sighed softly
And the grasses reached up
To embrace the rosebuds tenderly.
Then the roses grew radiant, and
Grass and flowers danced
With the same mild wind which made
The leaves in the branches above us
Shake with carefree laughter,
And which also called me
Upwards.
© jsmorgane (June 2012)
Scared, I’m scared.
So scared I cry and
Do not care the world
Is witness to my tears.
She. Sterner than usual, perhaps.
No tears, of course, no signs of weakness.
As if she’d always planned to take
Her sister’s place and make the battle hers.
Protecting her own like the shy creature of the forest
She has always seemed to me,
Fierce in defence. Invincible.
Now they are trying to take her down.
Take her out. The girl who sang.
Sang a song so clear and true
Only a mountain might crush that voice.
But the rocks did fall, and heavily,
On her family’s life, burying her smile
With her father deep down underground.
She keeps to herself, self-contained,
Thoughts turned inside, saving her strength
For… later, while I go to pieces because
I don’t stand a chance to win this thing.
But she can win. Her instincts sharpened by
Solitude, she’ll make it through, she knows
The wilderness on the forbidden side of the fence,
And – I think – the other kind as well.
No, I will not go down quietly.
I’ll help as best I can,
I’ll help her win.
She will not notice –
She’s never noticed me.
I’ll give her the last of
What I have of time
To lengthen hers.
For her I could be strong,
I might for her,
I will for her.
I’ll step in where she …
Has never needed to excel.
Where I can speak for her,
Can smile for her,
Give what is good in me
For her and maybe
She’ll forgive me then.
Forgive my fear, forgive the
Bread thrown in the mud,
When I might easily have
Stepped out in the rain and
Handed it to her.
I hand her now what little
I have left of my replaceable existence.
She’ll notice too late – I count on that –
That I’m the prey who seeks her out,
Comes willingly into her range,
And so fulfils its purpose.
© jsmorgane (April 2012)
In the beginning there is silence.
I live in the present.
Every day is the same,
A routine giving me strength,
Succour and food for my family,
Sustenance from the forbidden forest.
Beyond the pale, in the wild,
I breathe in the unshakeable present,
A Now that gives me reason.
Not a new day, just the same day again,
Safely the same again.
Safe, when change can only mean
More struggle and more pain.
Then the unspeakable,
They call your name, they say the unthinkable,
They speak the word, and my present ends.
Time has a meaning, I have a future,
An expanse of time, bleak and empty.
My Now was you,
And you are being led to the altar
As sacrifice to other people’s vanities.
So I speak too, become an agent of time,
Set an end to this new thing, this future.
Now every second counts, counts down to
When my future ends. And soon.
© jsmorgane (April 2012)
